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Post by Capt Zlogg on Mar 2, 2009 12:15:59 GMT -5
We are informed by a local agent the relief flight turned out to be a complete disaster. Although well ment by the organizers some pilots of kapitalistny origing were after a quick buck and have created total chaos. The pilot of a Bristol Blighter considering himself the ultimate saviour unloaded a full load of inferior bicycles which crumbled under the load of a 5 person family during the first outing to the beach. From a visiting DC-3 of notorious origin crates of eggs were unloaded in such a fashion the complete complement of the country is suffering from omelettes for weeks on end now, all inhabitants turning slghtly yellow.
To restore confidence (and landing rights) the Kommintern of the Great Motherland announced an airdrop of badly needed 1st quality hammers and sickels, the complete works of Lenin, Marx and Stalin (including resumé) and the Bolshoi ballet by a group of AN-22's on a roundtrip from their airbase in the Motherland to Dili and back.
The High Commissioner of Dili further wish to bring to your attention that Lunching at Carnarvon or Tea-ing at whatever place in typical decadentny style with fine Chinese porcelain, rolls, cucumber sandwiches (dearly missed by the toddlers of Dili) after dumping garbage in his country, wrecking both the Roo Bar AND Poy Cholor by visiting aircrew, has brought him to tears.
Again......aviators of the Motherland, in line with the spirit of our workers paradise, have saved the day.
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Ed Burke
Member
Healthy living is fine, but it's having fun that keeps us going!
Posts: 433
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Post by Ed Burke on Mar 4, 2009 18:49:39 GMT -5
Comrade Zloog, Sir, I take issue with your slanderous description of the aid flights to Dili.
In the case of the Frightening from Bristol, the shipment of those 340 bicycles was first class and had in fact originated in the Glorious Motherland at the Secret Shtykovo branch of Vladivostok Velocipedes. In the words of the illustrious chief of that great organisation, "Our marvellous machine is product of the great Soviet State for the transport for the big family. They come with the guarantee many minutes."
These bicycles were tested on the pay day prior to shipment by an enthusiastic group of volunteers at a local Darwin Community and there were no reports of defects.
In the case of the load of six hundred and sixty six sachets of saddle sore soothers carried caringly in Alexandr Yakovlev's superb UT-1, They were all in good, scarcely used, condition.
As for the DC-3's cargo I can only comment that the tarmac was exceedingly slick and the capricious Yak described two 360s under brakes before coming to a final halt.
It is my opinion and that of my crew, Fred, that your dropping of hammers and sundry agricultural tools on the heads of the population will have done very little to endear you to the victims of such wanton political opportunism.
Yours, Edward Burke, Captain 4th class, SOB, vino disposal a specialty.
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Post by Chris Ross on Mar 6, 2009 15:07:01 GMT -5
Which day did they save and where did they put it I seem to hsve lost one ahhh well at least one
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Post by Capt Zlogg on Mar 7, 2009 0:11:34 GMT -5
Comrade Edrovich,
Vladivostok Velocipedes are known for their cheap imitations of Onkel Theo's fine bikes. The geographical location of their factory near the Chinese border and close to the Japanese territorial boundaries lured them into a habit well know in that area. They even produce export models from bamboo and ship them to Africa! The complete crew of this factory has been sent off for a badly needed rest & politcal re-orientation in one of our famous Holiday Camps near Magadan, Eastern Siberia (there are still some openings - book now!).
The 701 sachets with white powder in the UT-1 were originating from Colombia and were not containing the product you artfully described. Some people from Medellin (specially signor Ernesto Sniff) seem to be rather cross with you!
We assume the balance was for private consumption to supress your fear of height.
prtaknutsa! Capt Zlogg VP KGB Air Droppers (cow & elephant div) CEO Interholidaycamps div (East Siberia - Gulag region)
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Smithy
Member
afl.com.au
Posts: 69
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Post by Smithy on Mar 7, 2009 11:40:47 GMT -5
Having been faxed from Nigeria by Cousin Viktor, who is preparing to inherit many dollar$ via his long lost relatives, I have been informed that the treadlies sent were actually Hills Hoists prior to re indenture. The colonisation of Dili was a rouse designed by the Governor of Montague Island to alleviate the overly stockpiled tubular steel quantities disturbing the migrating chinese geese and taiwanish type toy manufractured off spring, and Generally Broken Parts Union, or GDP for short. One had managed to strap a Malvern Star racer to the side of the Altair and pronounce its arrival upon the steps of the GPO, however with the rising cost of peddle power it quickly disappeared, much to the annoyance of the local bar keep who planned to use it weekly as a courtesy bus. It returned later in the day with the Mayor abhoard, as he circumvented his frustration that the air con only worked on the descent, undt the fact Cousin Viktor did not install a bicycle rack large enough for Aunt Veronica andt a potatoe sack. Not to mention Herr Flick. The frame breaks down to form a rudimentary clothes line, and the tyres are carefully camouflaged to resemble hoola hoops, which by many standards seems ingenious although may come across as in genuine and full of tricky flat-pack instructions spoken in Malayan pidgin. The bike had not been seen for 3 or 4 days and as we knew it was the Town bike, were confident that it would eventually right itself and appear again leaning up against the steps of the GPO in its own time. After some rather tainted egg nog, we departed to the beach for a slumber. We awoke to a beautiful smell of freshly baked bread as our kind friends from Columbia had sent us some fine self raising flour to make damper. Nothing like sitting on the sand and eating fresh sour dough and know you helped out some people, by not only installing a new town bike, but helped the people of Dili dry their clothes and as you know in this humidity aint an easy job. The only thing missing was some homemade green ginger wine. dobro
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Post by Capt Zlogg on Mar 12, 2009 10:55:29 GMT -5
Comrade Smittovich
The Kommintern of the Socialist Workers Paradise is not impressed by your incoherent adventures. Careful studies recently revealed your roots trace back to the infamous monk Vladimir Petrovksy Rashputin (great grandfather of comrade Putin (without the rash), KGB chief of Leningrad) who's brother was a famous swindler in Ghana, the native country of many Nigerian perpetrators. Nicknamed the "Black & White" twins they roamed the streets of Sverdlovsk on a souped-up moped, booty liberated from the Germans near Kursk. The manufacturer of this series of mopeds was closely related to Lord Adrian Melchett, well know breeder of the tasty, grey speckled homing pigeons during WWI. It cost the lives of many gourmets caught in the act by Capt. Darling in person. It remains to be seen that aforementioned twins will ever meet their equals in catching up said moped (fueled by Proppy's intergalactic elixir) during their ruinous tours of Sverdlovsk, Omsk and the adjacent Urals.
cheers Capt Zlogg VP KGB Air Droppers (cow & elephant div) Manager Onion Pickles Works "Tears For Quality", Irkutsk oblast
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Dave Evans bgak015
Member
"there are old pilots and there are bold pilots but there are few old and bold pilots"
Posts: 57
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Post by Dave Evans bgak015 on Mar 15, 2009 17:57:18 GMT -5
Want to congratulate PROPPY and CAPITAN ZLOGG ,who will surely be promoted ,as the magic elixir must be being used as a fuel additive for the peoples air force as they plan to station aircraft in Venezuela and Cuba. This is a sure sign that the Russian winter was hard this year as it has forced bears and bison to migrate south. this will give the fledging naval aviators,and air force personnel plenty of intercept and formation flying practice ;D
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Post by Capt Zlogg on Mar 26, 2009 11:10:57 GMT -5
Comrade Snaved,
Indeed a good test for our beloved Great Motherland Airforce flyink Tu-160 swing wing aircraft all way to Venzuela. They are on a mission to bring back several kilogrammis of rare Caraciola chocolate, much devoured by the Kommintern of our Paradise. This delikatessen is only available from a small shop near Maracaibo, ran by messrs. Francesco & Eligatory San Fernando do Grande and their families and the command of the infallible Russian airforce thought it a good idea to combine a long range non-stop navigational excercise from our country to Venezuela with an intensive course for selected air and ground crews how to dance the cucaracha, drinking rum-cola without icecubes and cycling in the dark over potholes.
Cheers Capt Zlogg VP KGB Air Droppers (cow & elephant div) Directeur Artistique Chernovsky Folk Dance Troupe "Siberian Big Foots"
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Dave Evans bgak015
Member
"there are old pilots and there are bold pilots but there are few old and bold pilots"
Posts: 57
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Post by Dave Evans bgak015 on Mar 26, 2009 15:41:35 GMT -5
Capt. is there any truth in the rumor that the "Siberian Big Foots"during a tour of a HOLIDAY CAMP preformed RIVER DANCE on A frozen river?
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Post by Capt Zlogg on Mar 26, 2009 23:54:14 GMT -5
Comrade Snaved, The problem with rumors is they only tell half the truth - the river was NOT frozen and the second soloïst was driving his bike with flat tires during the performance on the water (as dictated in the script). cheers Capt Zlogg VP KGB Air Droppers (cow & elephant div)
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